Hot Mess

OMG! I know that a boat load of emotions come with being a caregiver, breadwinner, more than full-time employee, janitor, maid, accountant, cook and MOM (by far, my favorite role). However, I guess it's been a long time since the flood gates have been allowed to be opened. Apparently, too long. Today, I met with a personal trainer for a fitness assessment. Poor girl must have needed a stiffer drink than herbal tea afterward. I don't think she knew what she was in for. But, she was sweet and supportive. I think I like her. I think I'll keep her. "She don't come cheap"...but it's been a long time since any investments have been made in the "me bank". So the journey begins. Next week, I will take my baby girl for some fun in the sun, and then - 2/27/10 at noon, I'll take the next step. So....relative to "the assessment": CARDIO = off the chart in the wrong direction FLEXIBILITY = slightly better. Hmmm....I've never been told I'm only slighly flexible?! STRENGTH = Good! Oh the irony - after all, women ARE like herbal tea....the hotter the water, the stronger we get.

Whose baggage is it anyway?

In my ongoing effort to clean out, clean up and make the most of 2010, I was moving some old family pictures around. I picked up an armful of those that had been placed in a short, dark hallway in our home. I took them to the living room to share with my husband....a smiling photo of him with our first dog, Magic; a family trip to Florida when our daughter was just 8 weeks old (we went to celebrate his grandparent's 65th anniversary); a picture of our fathers manning the lemonade table at our bridle shower. My husband's eyes lit up when I showed him. I asked him if it would bother him if I put them in the living room. He said no...in fact he wanted to scan them. Just then, my water works started and wouldn't stop. A veritable flash flood of emotion. I was overwhelmed by the loss of happier times...before the life was sucked out of my dad at age 60 by a vicious and less understood form of heart disease...before my husband's body gave up on him before age 35 and forced him to get around on four wheels instead of two legs...before I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Back in the early 90's when I was first starting my sales career, one of our bosses gathered us together. I remember as clear as a cold January day, what he said to us. "Folks...these are the good old days", he said, "twenty years from now, you are going to look back and realize how true this is". He was telling us to embrace it, enjoy it, make the most of it. He couldn't have been more on target. Since then, financial markets have collapsed, terrorists have snatched our sense of security and natural disasters have turned lives upside down.

I've come to believe that adversity sharpens our ability to maximize moments of joy and appreciate simple beauty.